You know what sucks?

...having to be the bigger person. Sometimes you wanna be petty as a MF. You want to not return calls, and ghost people. But you don't, because you never, ever know...

The First Date...take 1,000,001

I have a date tonight with a guy I met at a club last Thursday. He called me on Monday, made plans to meet up on Friday, finalized those plans on Tuesday--and here we are. I met him at a Backyard Band show, and since its go-go night at the Wizards game and BYB is performing--it was perfect. I copped us some nosebleed seats, and we're in there. I'm not sure where else the night will take us, but I'm actually excited about it--which is a surprise. I've noticed that as I date more, I'm becoming increasingly over getting to know someone. Dates are great. First dates come with a lot of extra pressure. I've talked to dude every day this week, a couple of times for well over an hour. I guess that's a good sign, but hell, what do I know? It bothers me that I'm becoming more cynical, despite how hopeful I am about the future. But regardless of how I think it's all bullsh*t, I'll still go on first dates. One day, it'll be my last one.

And so it begins...

I've had this blog forever, but never really felt compelled to write in it. But now, I need to write in it. Santa Claus gave me the most awesome little laptop for Christmas. I'm sitting in the bed typing like I was meant to do this. While I did just get off the phone with my ex after an hour long conversation (we haven't spoken since May) I really don't feel like going into it. It was a good convo, but I think that I'm a little emotionally spent right now, and I just want to go to sleep. He's actually the reason I said, let me go ahead and pull this blog up. But anyway...I'm here. Let's see if I can stick with this.

Coughing fits

This cough refuses to let me be great.  I can't sleep, so I'm up thinking.  I recently cancelled a profile on a networking/dating site, Meet Me.  It was worse than Tagged.  Tagged was the projects of social networking.  MM was like the slums.  Like, I needed a voucher in hand just to log on.  It was the skid row of dating sites.  Where all hope for love goes to die.  When a dude that had no job, car, or place of his own tried to talk to me, that was it...I was done.  Like, ninja you don't even deserve internet access.  Your life hasn't earned it.

I hate when I go to an African or Jamaican club and some slow song comes on.  Dudes starts dancing with you like they love you, trying to gaze into your eyes and shit.  And you're like nigga I don't even know this song.  I heard the chorus before, but it's not my jam.  The only reason I'm still standing here is because the bar is too full and I'd rather stand here where it's a tad bit less crowded.  Get your dick off my leg and find a more drunk chick to have your moment with.  Geez.

I wish I could go to work right now and just work till I fell asleep...like, 15, 20 hours straight.  If I fall asleep I will be mad when the alarm goes off in a couple hours.  If I stay up, I'm gonna crash around 1.  I wish I could get my 40 hours whenever I wanted during the week.  It's the gift and the curse of Fed employment.  Core hours.  FML.

Yeah...that's about it.

Lockup

If I went to jail, people would always be beefing with me.  My commissary would stay super fat.  B*tches would be hating.

Late night FB ruminations

I hate when old ass men refer to their woman as their girl.  That chick is 43 years old...she ain't been a girl since Reagan was in office.  Can you upgrade her title out of respect at least?

One of my FB friends added the life event "got engaged" on 12/31.  On 1/5, he posted "sorry y'all, didn't work out".  Nigga.  You knew when you posted it that it wasn't gonna work.  You ain't save up and buy a ring for her to wear for five days.  If you would have, you wouldn't be posting on FB.  You'd be canvassing the streets trying to get that ring back.  These hood ass, "we don't need a ring to be engaged" engagements are too much.

I hate these chicks posting, talking bout "where are all the good men?"  Obviously not on your FB friend list, because you post this same nonsense every couple days.  Desperation is so unattractive, and your thirst trap is so obvious.  You know who would probably actually bite though?  See the paragraph above.

FB was never the creme de la creme of social networking-but it certainly turns into the projects after 2 am. 

She's an asshole.

Often times, I come off as a jerk...I know that. But I'm really not a jerk...I just don't like dumb shit. Is something wrong with that? I need to learn how to reject people a little better.