Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Just a few things...

-It bothers me to no end when people post their prayers on FB. You are writing a prayer to God, on Facebook? Is he your friend on Facebook? Do you understand how the concept of prayer actually works? Social media has made people so weird. NO ONE REALLY CARES, dude!

-Sensitive men are the worst. If I say something to offend you and I notice you're bothered, I will apologize. But if I say something else and you get in your feelings, I'm out. Not even because you're sensitive, but because you obviously don't get my brand of humor, and we are not a good fit.

-It trips me out when men disappear for a while, then pop back up. Where do you think I think you were? You weren't saving the rain forest. You weren't in some village in Africa curing AIDS. You were somewhere with someone else doing you. Why on earth would you think you could attempt to walk back in my life and have me take you seriously? Go back and continue your philanthropy tour...I'm good over here.

-I have a friend that stays posting FB statuses about struggling--but he is expecting his 4th baby with the same woman. What is it MJ said? If you can't feed the baby, then don't have the baby! You asked for this! Did you think the 4th one would come with no expenses or something? Thanks to Obamacare, my birth control is absolutely free. And it isn't just mine that's free. Your chick (well no, baby mama, since neither of you claim each other even though she has a homemade tattoo of your name etched onto her collarbone) could have gotten some too.

-I've noticed that older people were much more attractive younger than we are. I read the obituaries daily (don't judge me), and a lot of times they will have a picture of an older person in their youth. Without photoshop, hair extensions, and tons of makeup, these folks were absolutely beautiful people! Everyone looked cleaner and neater, their skin was better, their hair was healthier, their smiles were brighter--our grandparents looked much better than us. Period.

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