Thursday, July 11, 2013

My experiences with online dating

I've recently ventured back into online dating. The other day, I came across this guy. He seemed pretty cool on paper, he was attractive-I was interested. His page said that he played pro football, then worked as a federal contractor, now he does construction. Interesting career path...but whatever. I guess he saw that I'd visited his page, because he ended up hitting me up, and we began conversing. After a couple days of conversation, he asked if we could talk offline. I agreed, and when he told me his name and gave me his number, I recognized both his name and area code--I'd met this guy online before. I couldn't remember why we'd stopped talking. I chalked it up to my past pettiness and shallow behavior and continued on. When he called me, I was on the other line and I said I would call him back. He said ok. I called him back 5 minutes later, and I got a text-- "sorry im busy. call back later". That's when it started to come back to me. I remembered dude being petty. I also remembered he had no cable, and wanted me to hang out over his house (clearly not to watch cable). Then I remembered that he worked a temp job and drove a OLLLD BMW, with a broken seat. Dude was d*mn near indigent...and that wasn't ok. But that was the past...things may have been a little different now, right? He had moved about 2 miles away from me, and judging by his pics, was no longer in that raggedy car--so I figured it could be work. He ended up calling back, and we talked. He said that he had just seen his dream car, and he was going to get one--by his birthday (in October) or at least the end of the year. I asked what it was, and he said a Porsche.

Really dude? You're talking about the price of rent in Alexandria, and you plan to get a Porsche?

So I said ok. He then continued on to say that in addition, at his birthday party, he wants to come in in a helicopter. Now, I didn't say much about the Porsche, but at this point, I had to speak up. I said to him, you do realize that no one will see you can't just land a helicopter anywhere. He told me that he knows someone that does helicopter rentals, and him and his boy once paid $300 to ride around all weekend. I was like, oh yeah, that's cool...but you still can't land it anywhere. The phone got silent, and after a couple seconds, I asked, so you're gonna have your birthday party in a field...? He was like yeah something like that, it's gonna be a hot party. After anothern awkward silence on my end, he says, that's all you have to say? You aren't gonna be like, I wanna go to your party, I bet it's gonna be fun? I wasn't sure what to say, so I just said (I guess unconvincingly), yeah...? He told me he was taking his bags in the house, and he would call me back. I have yet to hear from him.

I remember why we didn't work out. Not only was he broke, but he was an idiot. One or the other sir. Pick your struggle.

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