Monday, December 8, 2008

You can grind-but don't touch!

Saturday night was an unexpected club night. Snow flurries turned into a clear, almost winter night--and me, Kevin, and Bre took advantage of that. What a night--so enlightening. I never knew two drinks could do so little, but so much! We were able to party at one spot, and then go to a new spot and party til 4. Anyway--today's PSA is about dancing.

The *people* on the news call it "freak dancing", but to most of us--its just dancing. It’s the oddest concept. A girl will get all cute, go to the club, and two step--until she sees a set of eyes on her. That innocent two step turns into a cute little "yeah, I know you're watching" bounce. Shortly thereafter, if the interest is still there, that cute little bounce turns into a suggestive "you better come get on this" wind as she knows that she's being checked out. Dude gets the hint, comes on over, and jumps on it. Suggestive wind turns into straight simulated sex--until dude tries to rub her ass down-and the chick starts trippin:

"Ummmm, what are you doin?"

"Nothing...I was just..."

"Just what, trying to feel me up?"

"Nah, we was just dancin...?"

"Yeah, JUST dancin...I don't know you like that."

" bad shawty. Lemme get you a drink."


And the chick happily sips her vodka and cranberry while the dude gets him a $9 lap dance for the rest of the night.

What is wrong with this picture? It's ok to sexually assault me as long as there is liquor involved? But then--why do you get mad when the dude doesn’t ask for your number? This man just left a spot on your jeans for the price of some rail liquor and american fare orange juice--and you expect him to call you? For what? That would involve dinner and a movie. He's more than content to meet you again at the club next week for the VIP Treatment. You won't kiss on the first date-but you'll dry hump before you know his name-kinda sounds like the win/win.

Me personally--I'm ahead of the game. I'm not gonna work you out until I know a drink is involved. You aren't gonna go to work if there's no guarantee you're gonna get paid, are you? I'm a philanthropist, but I don't do charity work. If I'm enjoying myself, we can dance, and if its my song, I'm gonna hold it down...but if I see someone else that may actually buy drinks and you haven't offered, I'm on it--sorry buddy. I can dance alone no problem--and if I want a drink that bad, I have cash on hand and I know exactly where the bar is. Go find one of these chicks that came to the club with their gas light on and barely enough for a fill up-much less, enough to purchase their own libations.
Now that--that's a whole 'nother blog...

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