D-Heads

A co-worker of mine has been talking about some skin tag on her face. It was bothering her yesterday, and I pretty much ignored her griping. This morning she showed up with a little band-aid on her eye. She came over to me and said that the skin tag she was talking about the day before had grown, and was in her line of vision. She then got closer and said "It looks like a little penis!". I chuckled of course, but whatever--I wasn't thinking about her and her little stupid skin issues. Around 9am, she called her dermatologist, and wonder of wonders--she was able to fit her in at 10:45. My co-worker hopped around in delight fora minute or two, and said that since she was getting it fixed, she would show it to me.

Man.

I wish my contact lenses were made by Polariod, because if I had a picture of it--I could make millions.

You ever see an adult movie where the non-black man pulls down his tighty whities, and his flaccid P falls out? Well--that's what happened with this growth on her eye. As I watched it fall into her eye, my own eyes widened in amazement. Madame Tussaud herself could not have done a better replica of one of nature's most intricately designed creations. It was just hanging there. Narrow and dark on her eyelid. Bulbous and light at the end. For real--if I'd gotten any closer, I swear I would have been peed on. I kept asking her to see it again and again--I was AWEstruck. If I wasn't so afraid of STD's and bastard babies I would have definitely asked to touch it. She had to go to the restroom to put the bandaid back on because she had to fold it up in order for it to fit. She was working with a monster.

She's gone for the day. After she got back from the dermatologist (and paying $135 on skin care products totally unrelated to the growth), she said she didnt feel well. They took her biggun, AND got her for over $100. I can't blame her. Talk about emasculation. Und!cked and d!cked--all in the same day.

Makes for a fun blog post though. I'm baaaaaaack!!